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| Me and The Most Unlikely Group of Frat Stars |
I. Indian Frat Stars
Last
Sunday the residents of the second floor of my hostel were supposed to take a day trip to Sanjay Gandhi
National Park, a national park just north of the Mumbai City Limits. We had
managed to corral a group together and drum up excitement about exploring the
park’s caves and seeing its lions and panthers. The seniors (second-year students)
in our hostel had other ideas. Saturday night was hostel induction night for
the junior residents.
My
friends are juniors and were excited about the induction ceremony. They
scampered around the hostel like high-schoolers before homecoming taking pictures
in their blazers and shorts, the uniform of the ceremony. They repeatedly asked
my roommate Peter and I to take pictures and videos of the ceremony.
I was very surprised my friends were so excited for the ceremony. Many have worked for a year or two. Some are in their mid-20's. They have every right and reason to resist being told what to do after being members of the workforce and earning salaries. But instead of viewing the ceremony as an emasculating procedure, they viewed as a milestone in their MBA experience.
“We need
to have pictures and videos. These are important moments of our life,” a friend
told me.
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| Wannabe Frat Stars |
Around
11:00 my friends shuffled up to a room on the top floor of our hostel. They
joined 20 other juniors who were packed like sardines in a two-person dorm
room. Through the mist of cigarette smoke and in between swigs of beer, the
seniors interrogated the juniors about their sex lives, forced them to answer
questions while bending over at 90 degree angles and had them address them as
“Sir”, a title usually reserved for professors, until 4 a.m.
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| In The Line of Fire |
The
next morning my hostel mates said how the seniors were such assholes for
calling them names like “chicken legs” and making them stay up all night in a
room with a pungent aroma of sweat, alcohol and cigarettes. If only they knew
what the aspiring fraternity men at Boston
University’s AEPi, Dartmouth’s
Sigma Alpha Epsilon and Ohio
University’s Delta Tau Delta went through during pledging.
II The Five Gardens of Eden
Last
week I stumbled upon the Five Gardens, a series of parks in the Dadar
neighborhood of Mumbai. On the weekends droves of Mumbaikars head out to the
Gardens’ cricket fields, playgrounds and park benches to play cards and catch
up with friends.
I
took a break from my run and watched a group of teenagers play cricket from the
top of a jungle gym. Yes I know it, it’s a bit creepy but I’m a foreigner so I
can bend the rules.
When
I was sitting on top of another jungle gym, a 14-year old boy named “Abhishek”,
I forgot his name, came over. Moments earlier, he was napping on the ground,
undisturbed by a soccer ball whizzing inches above his face. His lethargy was a
result of fasting for Ramadan.
Abhishek’s
friends were delighted to meet a foreigner. I don’t think they had met someone
from outside India before. They were eager to catch a glimpse of American money
and wanted to know my phone number to invite me back to the park the following
week.
Meeting
someone like Abhishek is a foreigner’s dream. Him and his friends are a direct
line into the thoughts of Indians with little knowledge and experience with the
West. But part of me could not resist viewing Abhishek with suspicion. Did
Abhishek really want to get to know me or did he and his friends see me as an
easy way to get some extra cash? Why else would he ask to see American currency
twice within the half hour period of our conversation?
I
probably over reacted. After talking with me, Abhishek probably went home and
bragged to his friends and parents how he held a conversation in English with
the random American in the playground.
Not curse himself for missing out on a chance to make some easy money.
I’m the one to blame here for letting the horror stories of India’s poverty
perpetuated by ignorant peers and fear of the unknown color my thoughts of an
unassuming teenager.
III The Deadhead’s Wisdom
Many
students probably embark on their study abroad trips hoping to integrate into
the culture of their chosen country. To an extent students do. They learn local
slang, pick up some of the language, develop a taste for the local food, even
conquer navigating the public transit. But do they ever become a full blown members of their adopted
cultures? Most do not come even close.
The
Deadhead spent a good chunk of our Monday lecture explaining the importance of
adapting and respecting cultural barriers in an international business setting.
He regaled us with stories of how chewing khat and wearing a sword helped
him seal a business deal on a business trip in Yemen. He even used me to
illustrate the differences between American and Indian culture.
The Deadhead: “Gabriel, pretend you
have just been promoted to manager of a unit
we’ll call Unit A. The old boss of Unit A is now in charge of Unit B. How would
you feel if the head of Unit B came and give you unsolicited advice on how to
run Unit A?
Gabe: “I’d feel like he was encroaching
on my territory.”
The Deadhead: “Did you hear what
language he used? Encroached has a very negative
connotation. He’s upset. What would we do? We’d be running off to the boss
asking for help and advice. ‘Please sir, help us sir. How did you run this operation?’
That my friends is culture.”
The
Deadhead used the remainder of the lesson to give his anthropological
assessment of Indian culture. According to the Deadhead, India, a land of
Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Parsis, Jews and Jains, is one of the more racist
countries in the world.
“Here
we discriminate based on race, sex, class, religion and caste,” he said. “There
are certain things I admire about the West. I admire the sense of independence
fostered in the United States. In the USA, most MBA students take out loans to
pay for their education. Here, mom and dad pay for the MBA, or they might take
out loans for their children’s MBA. ”
But
the most important thing the Deadhead stressed is to adopt the best elements of
different cultures to form your own unique set of values.
“I
admire the German’s work ethic. But my German friends tell me how they set up
times to meet their parents. I could never say ‘Ok Mom, I’ll meet you at 4.’
Can you imagine doing that here? The key is to pick the best of both cultures
and to realize that as a foreigner you will never adopt another culture, but
adopt certain elements.”
IV When Rules Actually Matter
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| Its totally cool to catch some z's in the middle of the sidewalk but apparently not to play badminton in a public park |
If
you want to survive in Mumbai, you’re expected to break rules. No one bats an
eye when a driver runs a red light. Slipping a few thousand rupees to a
government official so your passport will be processed sooner is no big deal.
Show up to the school workout facility in dress clothes when it clearly states
you need to be wearing workout apparel? Come on in!
But
try and play badminton in a public park (a safe distance away from other
patrons) or swing on a children’s swing set when no one else is using the
swings? Unthinkable! The park guards will blow their whistles at you and start
yelling at you in Hindi. TII (This Is India.)
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| A Pair of Cows Hanging out in the midst of urban Mumbai |
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